It should be said at the outset that I possess about as much musical ability as a 16k Spectrum: I can make noises, but under no normal circumstances would they be considered musical. So when I came up with the idea of re-writing a classic Christmas song with a more retro-gaming friendly lyric about an hour before Christmas Eve, it should come as no surprise that it neither rhymes nor scans properly.
But I didn't get where I am today without completely overlooking my obvious lack of talent, so here we go, the lyrics to 'Christmas Was Better In The 80s' - the ZX Spectrum remix:
On Christmas eve in the 80s, Miner Willy would say to me,
I want to go to sleep, perform a quirkafleeg...
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980's
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la
On Christmas day in the 80's, everybody used to play
Lunar Jetman, Manic Miner, and Hungry Horace.
We were going Back to Skool, Stopping the Express, Travelling with Trashman.
We were Contacting Sam Cruise, Atic Atacing, we might even Make A Chip.
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980s
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980s... 1980s
The load was slower in the eighties, and everybody used to wait
Outside the chuntey field, fingers crossed and touching wood.
And I won't forget those tiny coloured sprites
Chuckie Egg and Ant Attack
Rainbow Islands and Bomb Jack.
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980s
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980s
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la
On Christmas eve in the 80's, Dizzy would say to me,
I dare not go to sleep, I'll lose my friends again...
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980s
Christmas was better in the eighties
Better in the 1980s... 1980s
On Christmas eve in the 80's
On Christmas eve in the 80's
On Christmas eve in the 80's
(Original words & music by The Futureheads)
Wait, what do you mean you don't know that one? OK, it may not be a classic in the traditional sense, but I didn't have time to rewrite that one by Slade. But, for the benefit of those who haven't had the pleasure, prepare to meet your new favourite Christmas song:
Lyrics butchered by Steve Trower
@SPTrowerEsq
www.stevetrower.co.uk
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